WTF? Wednesday bannerThe Square (2017)

The Square poster

Plattform Produktion
Starring:
 Claes Bang, Elisabeth Moss
Directed by: Ruben Östlund

Cat Out of the Bag Alert!  This review contains a major spoiler for this film!

Synopsis: A modern art museum curator named Christian (Claes Bang) signs off on a controversial ad campaign for a new exhibit which elicits anger from the public.

Kitty Cameo: A reminder that this is a major spoiler for this film! The ad which is created shows a poor, homeless little girl lying in what could be a sewer with a tiny kitten beside her.

The Square - poor homeless little girl lying with kitten

In the next shot the girl, who is carrying the kitten, both enter “The Square”, which is the art exhibit the museum is promoting. It is supposed to be a safe place for people to stand and contemplate but instead both the little girl and kitten are blown up.

The Square - poor homeless little girl carrying kitten into the square

Later in the film Christian is looking at some newpaper articles about the outrage over the ad. One headline above a picture of the kitten translates to something along the lines of “The kitten’s mother (or perhaps owner) is worried.”

The Square - newspaper articles about viral video with picture of kitten in corner

Final Mewsings: There must be an easier way to get attention than blowing up kittens and kids.


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The Good Doctor – “Oliver”

The Good Doctor poster

Original Air Date: October 9, 2017
Starring: Freddie Highmore
Directed by: John Dahl

Synopsis: Dr. Shaun Murphy (Freddie Highmore) must reach the hospital with a donated organ in time to save a patient.

Kitty Cameo: Dr. Murphy has now moved into an apartment and as he sits in the living room he sees a large, long-haired cat lying on a table on the back patio. The cat eyes him and then meows, lying its head back down.

The Good Doctor - Oliver - Dr. Shaun Murphy looking through glass doors at long haired cat lying on patio table

The Good Doctor - Oliver - Dr. Shaun Murphy looking through glass doors at long haired cat lying on patio table

A woman knocks on the door and when Dr. Murphy answers she explains she is his neighbor who needs batteries for her video game controller. As he gets them for her she sees the cat out back and warns him not to feed it or he’ll never get rid of it. What’s confusing is the size and breed of the cat appears to be the same as the cat seen in the pilot, but that was at Dr. Murphy’s old home. Did he bring the cat with him to the apartment? But if that were the case, why would the neighbor tell him not to feed it? That would indicate the cat is just a stray. In the end we assume the cat in this episode is a reinvention of sorts of the cat from the pilot.

The Good Doctor - Oliver - long haired cat lying on patio table in background

Final Mewsings: Cats don’t appreciate neighbors who give bad advice.


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The Golden Touch (1935)

The Golden Touch poster

Walt Disney Productions
Starring:
 Billy Bletcher
Directed by: Walt Disney

Cat Out of the Bag Alert!  This review contains some spoilers for this film!

Synopsis: An animated retelling of the King Midas story in which the King gets his wish to be able to turn everything to gold.

Cartoon Cat: When the short opens, King Midas (voiced by Billy Bletcher) is counting his gold coins. A black and white cat wearing a neck ruff is sitting on the counting table, tieing and untieing his tail in a knot.

The Golden Touch - black cat with knot in tail sitting beside King Midas

The Golden Touch - black cat sitting beside King Midas

The Golden Touch - black cat tying tail into knot beside King Midas animated gif

As the camera comes in, the cat notices it and backs away, growling.

The Golden Touch - black cat and King Midas looking at camera

The Golden Touch - black cat backing away and growling at camera with King Midas

Midas is visited by an elf named Goldie, which surprises both the King and his cat.

The Golden Touch - Goldie elf scaring black cat and King Midas

Goldie demonstrates the golden touch by changing the cat into gold.

The Golden Touch - Goldie elf about to touch black cat with King Midas

The Golden Touch - Goldie elf turns black cat into gold

The Golden Touch - black cat being turned to gold by Goldie elf animated gif

When Goldie removes the curse from the cat, the cat runs away.

The Golden Touch - Goldie elf changing black cat back and King Midas

After being given the golden touch, Midas is eager to try it out. He then sees the cat, who is washing himself nearby.

The Golden Touch - black cat licking paw

The Golden Touch - black cat washing front leg animated gif

Midas calls to the cat, who is understandably nervous. The cat slinks away until Midas shouts for him to come, then the cat runs.

The Golden Touch - black cat looking startled

The Golden Touch - black cat looking shocked

The Golden Touch - black cat looking scared

The Golden Touch - black cat scared animated gif

The Golden Touch - black cat sneaking away

Midas chases the cat out of the castle and up a tree. After banging into the tree and changing it into gold, all the apples fall from the tree, having been turned into gold. The cat then falls out of the tree and hits Midas on the head. The cat has again been turned into gold.

The Golden Touch - black cat running out of castle

The Golden Touch - black cat being chased by King Midas down steps of castle animated gif

The Golden Touch - black cat running up tree

The Golden Touch - King Midas looking at gold cat

Final Mewsings: The only thing more precious than a gold cat is a living and breathing cat.


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The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (1921)

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse poster

Metro Pictures Corporation
Starring:
 Rudolf Valentino, Derek Ghent, Virginia Warwick
Directed by: Rex Ingram

Cat Out of the Bag Alert!  This review contains some spoilers for this film!

Synopsis: A large family in Argentina break apart and end up on opposite sides in France and Germany during World War I.

Kitty Cameo: In one scene René Lacour (Derek Ghent) is dressed in a soldier’s uniform while his fiancee, Chichi (Virginia Warwick) fusses with him and calls him her little sugar soldier. Rene is frustrated because he wants to be a real soldier, but his father, the Senator, has arranged for him to go into the auxilary service. The couple are at odds and sit down in chairs apart from one another. We then see a shot of a cat sitting next to a dog. The cat hisses and swipes angrily at the dog.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - long haired cat lying next to small poodle dog

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - long haired cat hissing at small poodle dog

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - long haired cat lying next to small poodle dog

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - long haired cat lying taking a swipe at small poodle dog animated gif

Final Mewsings: Don’t mess with cats or women when they’re mad.


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The Corpse Grinders 2 (2000)

The Corpse Grinders 2 poster

TVM Global Entertainment
Starring:
 Sean Morelli, Andy Freeman
Directed by: Ted V. Mikels

Cat Out of the Bag Alert!  This review contains some spoilers for this film!

Synopsis: A combination sequel and reboot of the original film but with some hungry cat aliens thrown in for the mix. Or should we say meow mix?

Cat Cattle Call: One of the main elements of the original Corpse Grinders was the fact that the cats who ate Lotus Cat Food would then attack their owners because they were left craving human flesh. While the cat food is being produced by a new generation and cats are seen gobbling it up in several scenes the attacking part is all but forgotten in this version.

The Corpse Grinders 2 - tuxedo cat and Siamese eating Lotus Cat Food

The Corpse Grinders 2 - orange long haired tabby and Siamese with Lotus Cat Food

The Corpse Grinders 2 - cats eating Lotus Cat Food

The only cat who attacks is Kitty who belongs to nurse Angie (Cara Jo Basso) and attacks Dr. Glass (Paul MacDonald) but somehow even less convincingly than in the attack by Baby in the first film.

The Corpse Grinders 2 - Nurse Angie Cara Jo Basso with tuxedo cat Kitty and Dr. Glass Paul MacDonald

The Corpse Grinders 2 - tuxedo cat Kitty held by Dr. Glass Paul MacDonald

The Corpse Grinders 2 - Nurse Angie Cara Jo Basso feeding tuxedo cat Kitty with Dr. Glass Paul MacDonald

The Corpse Grinders 2 - tuxedo cat Kitty attacking Dr. Glass Paul MacDonald

Almost all of the original elements that made Corpse Grinders even remotely palatable as a horror film are gone here. Even the absolutely bizarre subplot of the cat aliens who come to Earth to find a new food source leads nowhere. In the end, there’s just not enough cat action to recommend this really bad film.

The Corpse Grinders 2 - orange long-haired tabby

The Corpse Grinders 2 - tabby cat scratching at tree

The Corpse Grinders 2 - dark Siamese cat

Final Mewsings: Cats don’t like being in subpar sequels.


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